As I lay on this bed in the middle
of Santiago at my aunts vacation home with the dangerous ceiling fan shaking as
if it were to eventually fall over my immobile body, the numbness that I
referred to before starts to wear off. I have been scared to write before on
this site because I didn’t feel like there was a point to it. I didn’t feel
like I had much to say. I didn’t think that my opinion was valid or enough.
Maybe humor is something I use to
distance myself from people. I showed up to my great grandmothers100th
birthday party in a wheelchair and a smile on my face. People came up to me all
night asking me how I was feeling and what had happened. There were at least
200 people that attended the party. I would joke around with my family and the
people that I didn’t know but politely pretended to recognize. It would have been a lot harder if I told
them the truth. If I had told them that I really was in pain and that I was
still scared. I was scared about going back to school and possibly failing all
of my finals.
This numbness that I have felt was
just me not fully understanding the situations that I had to face. Not once
have I felt so sad in the last couple of days that I felt like dying. Not once
have I felt awkward to the fact that my mom had to bathe me and that my sister
had to cut up my food and that my father had to carry me up the stairs.
Theses stiches are coming off soon
and my scars are going to eventually fade away. All that I am going to be left
with are these moments. I’m going to remember how my family came together in
this unexpected moment and how my cousins rolled me around the country club
during the party. Like most things in life, this too shall pass.
I guess I was aiming towards writing
about the awkward encounters that I have had throughout my life in this blog but,
it seems like everything nowadays is considered awkward to the point that the
word itself means nothing. So what is this all really about? This blog is
really about the unconventional troubles that I go though and the thoughts that
we all have (or at least I have) during these moments.
I think you did a great job of tying everything together in this post. You seemed to have been able to discover a broader meaning within your writing and you really hit on that in this post. I think you did a great job of incorporating your accident into this blog. I hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I wish you a speedy recovery. Focus on getting better and try not to worry too much about finals. I like this post because you finally found the specific reason for keeping this blog, even though it came with unfortunate circumstances. Your point was very clear and I think you did a good job at conveying your inner turmoil, and there's also a sense of closure here that I think completes the post.
ReplyDeleteThis post is especially good in the way you use it to reflect upon the purpose of this blog and then relate that back to your life. Your writing has always been engaging and enjoyable, all your posts have a really strong voice, and I feel like your purpose in writing each post is very well-focused. Good luck with your finals!
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